1:47 am – Should I get up and have an icy pole? Or maybe some Ribena. But that might make it harder to fall asleep later.

1:50 am – Who else is awake right now? 

1:57 am – Should I go wake someone up to keep me company? Not Mum because she has work the next day. Maybe Michelle. I could get her to cuddle me.

2:09 am – Should I start an aesthetic Instagram where I write these sleepless thoughts down? Mix of Rupi Kaur meets minimalist chic. Colour palette – to be determined. 

2:23 am – You should watch your lecture tomorrow morning. First thing. Aditya will not be impressed in Friday’s tutorial if not.

2:29 am – If I watch another episode of New Girl will that make me more awake? Doesn’t something happen to your brain when you look at a screen? Maybe one episode will get me tired. Or two. If I drink the Ribena I can watch three. 

2:35 am – Goes downstairs to make a glass of Ribena and grabs an icy pole. Watches three episodes of New Girl.

3:41 am – I need one of those weighted blankets. Everyone in Architectural Digest’s Open Door series has one. They’re probably really expensive. Am I just one of those plebs who celebrities can sell just about anything to?

3:56 am – Wow, these thoughts are really deep. You’re a genius. You should write this all down and turn it into a series of essays. You can be the next Anne Boyer.

4:02 am – If you write your thoughts down with a nice pen, does that make you feel more confident in their quality?

4:08 am – Why do we get lost in the aesthetics of writing? 

4:15 am – Hey this would make a really good Woroni article. 

4:17 am – Finally falls asleep.

Think your name would look good in print? Woroni is always open for submissions. Email write@woroni.com.au with a pitch or draft. You can find more info on submitting here.